Examination

     Whitney Houston was put to rest next to her father (John Houston) on Sunday.  Since her death, individuals have been commenting on her life and choices.  Some of the comments fall into the camp of wanting to remember her golden voice and forgetting about the tougher years.  Other comments point out the need to stay with and help those suffering with addiction.  Still other comments blame her ex-husband for everything bad that has happened to Houston.  I could go on and on, but I think you get the general idea.

     I, like many others, am saddened by the death of Houston.  Her death has caused me to examine the way we cope with loss as humans.  Many of us tend to remember the golden years or best years of someone’s life.  Others of us tend to focus on the suffering a loved one goes through.  Still others are looking for someone to blame when a loved one dies. 

     In a strange way the physical loss of someone has correlation to what many individuals are experiencing at dying congregations.  While the congregation may not be dead (in that it does not exist), it is declining rapidly toward death.  Some individuals in these congregations simply want to remember the golden days and want no part of thinking about the current state of affairs.  Others want to focus on the suffering the congregation is going through currently.  Still others want to blame this pastor or that pastor, this person or that person, this event or that event.

     I do believe it is human nature to respond in one of the ways above or in other similar ways.  It helps us to cope with what we are experiencing with the hopes of finding a way through it.  Given that this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday I want to offer another alternative out of our Christian tradition that does not necessarily negate the others I mentioned, but certainly points us in a different direction.

     The season of lent is a time of examination.  It is a time for putting aside all of those things that distract us and turning our full beings toward God.  This means not getting distracted by what used to be.  This means not getting caught up in woe is me.  This means not pointing the finger at everyone else and never looking in the mirror.  It is an opportunity to look inside of ourselves and to give our full attention to living out God’s calling in our lives.

     I believe congregations can do this same sort of examining.  Congregations can put aside all the distractions and give themselves fully to God during lent.  It is an opportunity for congregations to live out their calling and not worry about what used to be or what resources we do not have currently.  It is an opportunity for congregations to live out their calling and not point fingers at that event that split the church 25 years ago.  It is an opportunity to examine through prayerful obedience where it is that God seeks to lead them now.

     To cope with loss is a part of human nature.  As we enter into lent we have an opportunity to examine ourselves and for our congregations to examine itself in a manner that moves beyond some coping mechanisms.  I pray that your congregation will take this charge seriously and seek God’s direction during this Lenten season.

My Big Mouth

Jesus said:

 If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them. (Mt. 18:15-20, NRSV).

 This passage is actually set in the context of wounding and healing, condemning and restoring.  A lot of responsibility resides in that group of two or three people, especially when we’re gathering in the name of Christ.  The tongue is a powerful thing.  It has the power to cut or cleanse.

 Allow me to set the stage….  

 A youth group from another church in our conference was coming to our city for a special youth event and requested to spend the night at our church.  I said, “of course.”  I then asked our office manager if she would call the chair of our men’s group to see if they would bump their breakfast by one week so that they, out of the kindness of their hearts, could also cook for these twenty-five youth and their adult leaders.  My office manager said they said, “yes.”

 The week before the youth were scheduled to come, I called our men’s group leader to confirm the time.  He thought we had asked the men’s group to move their breakfast so as not to conflict with the youth group.  How did this happen?  I clarified my hopes.  Although he had had a really rough week at work (which I later learned), he said that it shouldn’t be a problem.  He really is a saint.

 Our resident men’s group chef and our leader arrived at 5:30am to begin cooking for a 7am breakfast.  Within minutes of starting the gas stove, the fire alarm went off.  The fire alarm is not particularly loud, but it does put off a particularly high and screeching pitch.  Surprisingly enough, the boys on the third floor slept through it and through the screams of the girls.  The girls sleeping near the elevator on the second floor (where the alarm speakers are positioned) did not.

 The men figured out how to override the fire alarm.

 When I arrived at 6am the lights were on.  Everybody was up and getting ready.

 Our resident chef concocted biscuits and gravy.  As he stood stirring the gravy forever in this giant pot, waiting for it to thicken, I explained that I admire anyone who can cook.  I usually somehow manage to ruin every pan I touch, even non-stick ones.  He said, “Oh really?  That’s too bad.”

 Breakfast was served.  Thirty minutes passed before the rest of the men’s group were to arrive.  The pot of gravy was placed back on the stove for warming.

 Everyone ate.  The dishes were washed, all except the big pot in which the gravy had been cooked.  It was filled with murky, sudsy water.  Our resident chef and resident dishwasher agreed that the pot should soak overnight.  One of them would wash it in the morning.

 Sunday morning came and went.

 Sunday evening I came back in for our own youth event.  I entered the kitchen to begin washing plates from our pizza dinner. I discovered the pot still sitting in the sink.  As I dumped the water out to begin washing it, I noticed black stuff still charred to the bottom of the pot.  It was not coming off.  Suddenly a string of thoughts began to flow….

 I think this pot is ruined.  

 Is this the Bazaar ladies’ pot?  The same pot they bought with their hard-earned fund-raising money, voted upon, and elected, after some debate, to buy?

 Did any of the Bazaar ladies see their pot, unwashed, in the sink, with black stuff charred to the bottom?

 I began to tend to the black stuff charred to the bottom of the pot.  This situation looked eerily familiar.  I was pretty sure this pot was ruined.

 The reeling and somewhat panicked thoughts in my head radiated through my arms and hands.  I gave all the elbow grease I could to that pot, with little tender, loving care.  I got most of the black stuff out, but I’m still not convinced the pot is okay.  But here’s the deal.  With a youth and three youth workers standing near by, I let my thoughts begin to wander out of my mouth….

 Me:  I sure hope this isn’t the Bazaar ladies’ pot.

 Lesson #1:  Speculation is never helpful.

 Youth Worker 1:  There is a Bazaar ladies’ pot?

 Me:  Well, I mean, I think this was their investment.  I think this pot was an intentional purchase.  I think a vote and some emotional debate went into this pot.  

 Lesson #2:  Sharing second-hand information, especially information that was probably not even correctly remembered by me, is not helpful.

 Youth Worker 1:  That’s ridiculous.  They should put their name on it then.

 Me (trying to clarify):  I don’t even know if this is the pot.  I just hope nobody saw it.  Maybe we can still get it clean.

 By this point I was feeling guilty.  Guilty about my comment the previous morning that I always ruin pots (like I jinxed him or something).  Guilty for committing the men to all this extra, last-minute work in cooking for twenty-five extra people (although it was so well-received and they got lots of cool points for it).  Most of all, guilty for saying what I was thinking out loud.  I wish I had just stopped talking.  It only got worse from there.

 Youth Worker 2 (who is also in the men’s group):  Is that pot from the men’s breakfast yesterday?  Why didn’t we clean it?

 Me (trying to defend):  It was really hard to clean, so they resolved to soak it overnight.  I guess they forgot about it this morning.

 Youth Worker 2:  So we just put off the problem.

 Me (still defending, gah!):  No, it was just really bad.  I think they just forgot this morning.  I just hope none of the Bazaar ladies saw it.

 Youth Worker 2:  Maybe the men just need to buy their own pot then.  Then we’ll label them “Men’s pot” and “Bazaar ladies’ pot.”

 Somehow the word “crankies” entered into the conversation about this time.  I sure hope it wasn’t me.

 Me (trying to justify):  Every church has its “crankies.”  I know we have our share, but they don’t seem to have as much influence here as they do in other churches I’ve been in.  Well…. for the most part.

 Believe it or not, this was meant as a compliment.  

 The conversation was going downhill fast.  Youth Worker 2 changed the subject.  I was so glad.

 I am just sitting here, the next day, wondering what kind of backlash is going to come out of this conversation, especially with three adults and a youth in the room.  A youth whose grandmother, whom I really love, is one of the Bazaar ladies, and whose grandfather is the men’s group leader.  These things never get communicated well.

 Lesson #3:  If you think there is a problem go directly to the source.

 Instead of letting my big mouth wander, I should have communicated directly with the men’s group leader, his wife from the Bazaar group, and established #1.) whether there was even a problem, and #2.) how I could help remedy the problem.  Now I have three adults and a youth who think our Bazaar ladies are a bunch of “crankies” (and they’re not at all, they’re actually a lot of fun), and I was the culprit of the conversation.

 At this point I can only beg for forgiveness while I try to learn a lesson from all of this.  Nobody said or did anything to deserve all these negative vibes.  It all boiled down to me and my big mouth, stirring the proverbial pot.

 This reminds me of a mentor and pastor who once said to our group, “I have to remember that the church is the bride of Christ, and any time I have anything bad to say about the church, I am “discing” Christ’s bride.  Jesus can’t possibly appreciate that.”

 And what kind of message about our church, our mission, and our vision, have I sent to four members of our church after a speculative and useless conversation?

 I’m reminded of the famous words of Thumper in the movie, Bambi:

 “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

 Especially when we’re gathered in the name of Christ.

Superbowl of Ads

What did you think of the Super Bowl Ads?  This has been common water cooler conversation over the past week.  Personally, I think Doritos stole the show with their sling baby and blackmailing dog ads.  My favorite individual ad was the Skechers ad with the French bulldog smoking the greyhounds and then moonwalking backwards over the finish line.   The Ferris Bueller tribute ad was ok.  You probably have your own opinions.

I’ve heard people comment that the ads are a distraction from the game itself. A 2011 study conductedby Hanon McKendry showed that more than half of viewers watch the superbowl to see the commercials as much as — or even more than — the game itself.  What do you think?  Does it take away from the game?  Are the ads a distraction?  The question here is about purpose.  What’s the Super Bowl really about?  Football or ads?I would argue that the Super Bowl is about making money for the NFL and therefore the ads–bringing in millions for a 30 second spot–fit perfectly with the goal of the game.

What’s the purpose of your church?   How do your activities–the ways you invest resources of time, effort, money, etc–fit with that purpose?  Jesus said, “I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly.”(John 10:10)  Is your church bringing more life to those who participate and interact with you?  Jesus commissioned his followers to “make disciples of all nations,” teaching them and baptizing them(Matthew 28:19-20).  How are your ministries aligned with this purpose?

Our world is increasingly less attracted to spectacle for anything but entertainment.  It doesn’t hold their attention for long.  It doesn’t change people’s lives.    It doesn’t make disciples.   For an interesting  reflection on 2 well-known pastors in this regard click here.   Attraction based models are not as effective as they once were.

Think about it this way.  Thousands were attracted to Jesus by the miracles he performed and the authority of his teaching.  Yet, when things got really difficult and he was arrested, very few remained.   Immediately following the resurrection, his followers numbered only 120.  I’m not advocating for smaller churches.  Instead I’m arguing that the crowds that are attracted by spectacles and performances aren’t necessarily becoming disciples.  Attracting millions of viewers translates into revenue for the NFL, but for the church, crowds do not necessarily translate into disciples.   What’s your purpose-attracting crowds or making disciples?

If we are to make disciples out of the crowds we attract, it will require intentionality.  We must think deeply and carefully about what marks a disciple.  We must immerse ourself in scripture and surround our efforts with prayer.  We must then ruthlessly pursue our purpose, aligning everything we do with the aim of creating space for God to work in people’s lives to transform them into followers of Jesus.

Choose Love

The month of February bears mixed emotions for me. There are several events that I like, but Valentine’s Day is one thing that I dread. Balloons, bears, roses, and crazy assorted candies are not my favorite things. Bah humbug to all of that! Now that would have been an interesting version of the Dickens classic! While so many people get caught up in expressing love through crazy Valentine’s Day shenanigans, does it really affirm your love for your significant other? The most used and often misused word in the English language is Love. I find this word hard to digest and live out because of the abuse it endures not only by how we use it, but also how we practice it. Maybe you think that your practice and definition of love are in sync, but I would like to beg to differ.  As believers of Christ how is it that we are so eager to say, God loves you and so do I, and yet we constantly separate ourselves from each other or even worse, exclude those around us. We repeatedly proclaim how great and how loving God is and yet we tear each other to shreds whether it is openly or behind closed doors. Is that love? If we say we believe in Christ and bear his light and love tell me how do our actions reflect it?

The word love in English is overused to where we say I love those shoes, or I LOVE that idea! Really? Is that even a proper usage of the word LOVE? How about our relationships to one another? I do not think that we pour out that word as willingly at times. What is love? Is it a feeling or a condition? I think that it is a little bit of both. As believers what does love mean to you and how do you practice it?

Perhaps we should begin with how we define this simple and yet complex word. When we think of love maybe the images that are set in our minds are images of hugs, laughter, happy moments, holding hands, and happiness. Maybe thinking of the word love makes us feel safe and secure. For others the word love resonates something deep within us that evokes all of the good things that transform us into who we are.

From those emotions, we then think of the people that we love. But the people that we love are people that we like. Even in the best and worst of times the people that we say we love are people that share similar thoughts and ideas that we do. We have similar life experiences through work, school, or church that connect us and help define who we are. The absolute truth is that it is easy to love those that are like us. The challenge of love is to go beyond our comfort zone to love those who are different.

There are many illustrations of relationships that explain love throughout the Bible. Some of the relationships that we see are parent-child, prophet-people, God-humanity, and Jesus-humanity. The pairings of relationships are dynamic and are often triangular with God being a focal point. The premise of those relationships is that because of our love for God we are able to show love to our children and the people we serve. But before we move on there is one relationship of love that we also need to address and that is love for neighbor.

God illustrates the need for those who follow and worship God to love those who are foreign, poor, widowed, orphaned, incarcerated, and even those who we do not like. This crazy kind of love challenges our ethics and places us in situations where we find our level of comfort being challenged. So often we overlook the parable of the Good Samaritan that we downplay its symbolic meaning that God loves all of humanity and we should do the same. Loving our neighbor means to love all of our neighbors even if it makes us uncomfortable. Are you living out God’s love by allowing yourself to be challenged?

In our congregation as we work to live out our mission statements, are we choosing to love our neighbor? Or, do we choose to continue to like those who are similar to us? When you look around the pews and you see people that you disagree with are you choosing to love? Are you making an effort to reconcile your differences because of God’s reconciling love in your life? In your circles and groups while planning to work in God’s kingdom, do your projects reflect your choice to love? As you enter into the month of February and make plans for the many events that will take place, prepare your hearts to give and receive always remembering to choose love.

Just Do It!

I”m a basketball guy. I like football and baseball but I grew up playing basketball. In small town Arkansas basketball is king. When you don’t have enough people to form a football team basketball is all you have. When the bigger schools were playing Fall football we were practicing basketball. During the late Spring we would play a little baseball as a distraction after basketball season. As soon as baseball was over we took to the backyard goals. We couldn’t have organized practices with our school coaches, but we did have access to the school gym. Several nights a week I would catch a ride to the gym with my neighbor who was old enough to drive. Basketball is what we had. If you wanted to play a school sport, basketball was the sport. It really didn’t matter if you were any good or had any potential talent. Basketball is what we had and we did it. We played and practiced all the time. When it came time for real games against other schools in our area, we were good. We couldn’t beat everyone, but we always had chance. We won a lot of games just because we could do all the small things correctly. We won a lot of games just because we were always ready to play. I grew up in a basketball town. Basketball is what we did.

As the church we often seem to struggle with who we are. Some churches focus on worship. Others focus on Sunday school or small groups. Many churches struggle with trying to be all things to all people. As Christians we divide ourselves and our lives into smaller and smaller pieces. We separate work from play, our physical lives from our spiritual lives. We separate into Methodists, Baptists, Catholics. Each of us may struggle to identify who we really are. Am I a mother a father, a pastor or an electrician? We are many things but what truly holds our identity together?  

Tim Tebow has become the Michael Jordan of the moment. He is not the best football player like Michael was the best basketball player. But he is extremely popular, polarizing. Whether he plays well or poorly, his performance has to be analyzed. Sports analysts argue over and over whether he can be a real professional quarterback. They argue that you can’t criticize his athletic skills due to his popularity. He’s a good guy but he can’t really play. Because he has such high character he is overrated. Others argue that he is a leader. He will find a way to win no matter what his athletic skills. With so many people arguing who Tim Tebow really is, Tim Tebow just keeps playing football and expressing his gratitude for the opportunity. His faith in God is well documented. He even has his own pose that has been dubbed “The Tebow”. Tim Tebow has become polarizing because he is Tim Tebow. He just does it. 

 Martha Grace Reese asks the question, “What difference does it make in your life that you are a Christian?” For Tim Tebow it has made a very public difference. What is different about your church that it’s a Christian church? If we can’t answer these questions and then be willing to share them, we will continue to be confused about who we are both as the church and as Christians. Our Evangelism hinges on our ability to convey the “Good News” of Jesus Christ as life changing. Our worship, our work, our family, our church, our lives should reflect and even describe how God has made a difference in our lives. Evangelism is our ability and willingness to reveal to the world how God has made a difference in our lives. As the Christians and the church, evangelism is what we do. Just do it.

 

What Do You See?

It is hard to believe that 2012 is already here. I wonder what this year will have in store? Will the economy make drastic improvements? Will the candidates run ethical campaigns? Will the Browns have a winning season? Surprisingly there may be as much hope for the first two as the last one. The truth is we do not know what 2012 will have in store. Certainly we can make predictions and many of our predictions are backed by facts. For example, the Browns only had one winning season in the last five so the odds of a winning season are low. No one can blame someone for using this logic, but it is seeing the glass as half empty.

Another set of eyes may see the glass half full and believe the Browns will win next year. They can point out how the defense has improved and we are only a few players in the draft away from winning. My question is, “What do you see?” Do you see the glass as half empty or half full as we start a new year? Those seeing the glass as half empty can claim to be realists and those seeing it as half full can claim to be optimists.

I believe the majority of us are both. We want to be optimistic, we want to believe the glass is half full, but experience has taught us to be cautious. We do not want to get our hopes up to high for fear of disappointment. We are caught in this tension between what we hope for and preparing for the worse. If I can downplay my hopes for the best, then I can protect myself from the worst. I ask again as you enter the New Year, “What do you see?”

I like many of you fall into the majority who are optimistic and cautious at the same time. I am hopeful for the best, while being mindful of the pressures of life. While I do not think this is all bad, I do believe Paul has a word for me and maybe someone else. In I Corinthians 13:12 Paul writes (New Living Translation), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

What I see is imperfect. Whether I see the glass as half full or empty, my seeing is imperfect. But what I can take confidence in is that God sees and knows me perfectly. God walks with me no matter what life throws my way. I can be confident that I am a child of God. I take this confidence into the New Year and I am ready for whatever comes my way. As I live in that tension between optimism and caution—I will not get stuck staring at and debating the status of the glass.

That is why my focus will be on God. This is my New Year Resolution! To keep my eyes on God! To keep my eyes on Jesus! To see the One who sees me perfectly no matter what life throws my way. I ask again, “What do you see?”

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,300 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 55 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.